We've all heard the expressions, "relationships are hard" or "relationships take a lot of work." However, while either or both of these may in fact be true, the type of "work" that is needed in a relationship should not be "hard work."

So What Should This Type Of “Work” Look Like In A relationship?

The work needed should be proactive. This means constantly building and improving your life together, rather than constantly repairing it. It’s sending a sweet text message just to say you were thinking of him/her.

Don't wait to send it because your man is upset that you forgot his birthday (yikes!!!). It could be picking up your sweetie's favorite meal, bringing it home and surprising her with dinner so she doesn’t have to cook.  That is sure to score major points as “best man” ever.

Keeping the passion and spark alive does take some effort. This probably seems strange to some couples, considering it happened so naturally and came so easily when you first met. However, it’s easy to fall into a routine which eventually turns into boredom for one or both partners. 

Physical, emotional, and mental intimacy are all necessities in a relationship.  You could plan a last minute weekend getaway or surprise your partner with a simple gift (just because...).  Always remember that “it’s the thought that counts.”

Good communication is an essential component of any healthy relationship.  There is conflict in all relationships, but how you deal with this conflict and resolve the disagreements are key factors in maintaining a healthy relationship.

Communicating effectively and resolving conflict constructively can be quite the challenge at times, but it doesn’t have to be.  Ensure that it is the right time and place to communicate.  

If either of you is very upset and obviously not in the frame of mind to have a constructive conversation, set aside another time to discuss the matter after you’ve cooled down. 

Yelling, blaming or accusing each other, and name calling are not healthy and will only further escalate the situation.

At the end of the day it might be time to reconsider whether to continue your relationship. This is only of course if you or your partner is unwilling to invest the type of “work” needed for your relationship to succeed.

Let us help you rebuild your relationship, providing you and your partner are ready to put the time and effort into creating a happy and healthy relationship.